Monday, January 11, 2010

F-you, F-you, F-you...Your Cool, F-you, I'm out!!

I'm quitting my job on Friday. I could go into details, but I won't--ok, ok don't beg or twist my arm or anythnig. Lets just say...

1)I'm not, nor will I ever be a sales person
2) I will not allow myself to be crapped on. Especially by management.

So I drafted a mock goodbye letter to my buddy a few weeks ago, and i'm itching to send it to everyone the company. Because I need half way decent references...and I'm a big chicken, I'll send it to you, Reader insead.

Hello Fellow Ba****ers.
It's been a long and difficult struggle working here day after day, with little to no commission. Even harder to see people come in and make assignments in 3 months or less. But alas, water under the bridge. I will be moving on to greener pastures, those pastures can be found in **Singapore/southern France where i will be residing for a month or more, living the post college dream. So please think of me as you book your next assignement, as I will never ever think of any of you again.
Fuck you,

**When I wrote this I was going to tag a long with my boyfriend on one of his business trips., and leave directly from Barton to an exotic local. Needless to say that's not going to happen, even if we could afford it.

Friday, January 1, 2010

New Year's Resolutions (Part 1)

Thing's I will Never Do


1. Take another woman's man. Not intentionally, that is. Even thought all;s fair in love and war and it ain't no sin.

2. Try to be anyting but myself at all times, publicly and privately, except on the stage or screen, for that's where acting belongs.

3. Cook, bake, sew, wash dishes, peel potatoes, eat onions, or bite my nails.

4. Wear white cotton stockings or join a nudist colony.

5. Like opera, number thirteen, yodelling, cold spaghetti, rats, snails, men who shave their necks, or over-ripe banana's.

6. Care for people who whistle in dressing rooms or checks that bounce as high a the stratosphere.

7. Play mother parts, sad parts, dumb parts, or a virtuous wife, betrayed or otherwise. I pity weak women, good or bad, but I can't like them. A woman should be strong either in her goodness or badness.

8. Go nuts about classical music, sandwiches, cigar smoke, places that smell like hospitals, and black nail polish.

9. Get excited over night clubs, contract bridge, fan dancing, bobby sox, the stock market, badminton, or bust developers.

10. Be thrilled to death by orchids, anonymous love letters, souvenir postcard folders, earthquakes, slave bracelets, or beds with hard mattresses.

11. Be bothered by Scotch money-lenders or boys who lisp.

12. Believe the worst about anybody without complete proof nor will I believe that it's useless to struggle against so-called Fate-the phony!

13. Walk when I can sit, or sit when i can recline. I believe in saving my energy - for important things.

14. Write a story that is unsophisticated, because I believe that innocence is as innocent doesn't.

15. Marry a man who is too handsome, a man who drinks to excess or doesn't carry his liquor like a gentleman,, a man who is easy to get, easily led into temptation-unless I do the leading.