Who's a Bitch?

She's A B**** At The Movies

Love this.... 

New Years Resolutions (Part 2)

As you know, I'm not normally a big holiday person, but that being said I LIVE for Jan 1st. I love the idea of setting goals and starting fresh. So I began the year with one goal, to quit my job. Then some latent Type A crazy took over and my one goal turned into a chronological 3 page outline, complete with a scheduled amount of time and money will dedicate to each goal and 2 pipe dream business proposals.

Crazy? No little voice in my head, i prefer to call it driven...yeah, driven.

Four (out of about 60) goals have already been put into motion.

1) I quit my job. It was a long time coming, but life's too short to be miserable.

2) I bought the website www.joelovesmarycherry.com--more on that to come.

3) I'm quitting smoking. "I've smoked from 13-22 then picked it up again last year. Now I'm down to 1 cig a week.

4) Back to working out/dieting on a regular basis.

F-you, F-you, F-you...Your Cool, F-you, I'm out!!

I'm quitting my job on Friday. I could go into details, but I won't--ok, ok don't beg or twist my arm or anythnig. Lets just say...

1)I'm not, nor will I ever be a sales person

2) I will not allow myself to be crapped on. Especially by management.

So I drafted a mock goodbye letter to my buddy a few weeks ago, and i'm itching to send it to everyone the company. Because I need half way decent references...and I'm a big chicken, I'll send it to you, Reader insead.

Hello Fellow Ba****ers.

It's been a long and difficult struggle working here day after day, with little to no commission. Even harder to see people come in and make assignments in 3 months or less. But alas, water under the bridge. I will be moving on to greener pastures, those pastures can be found in **Singapore/southern France where i will be residing for a month or more, living the post college dream. So please think of me as you book your next assignement, as I will never ever think of any of you again.

Fuck you,

Angie

**When I wrote this I was going to tag a long with my boyfriend on one of his business trips., and leave directly from Barton to an exotic local. Needless to say that's not going to happen, even if we could afford it.

New Year's Resolutions (Part 1)

Thing's I will Never Do

By Mae West

(Undated)

1. Take another woman's man. Not intentionally, that is. Even thought all;s fair in love and war and it ain't no sin.

2. Try to be anyting but myself at all times, publicly and privately, except on the stage or screen, for that's where acting belongs.

3. Cook, bake, sew, wash dishes, peel potatoes, eat onions, or bite my nails.

4. Wear white cotton stockings or join a nudist colony.

5. Like opera, number thirteen, yodelling, cold spaghetti, rats, snails, men who shave their necks, or over-ripe banana's.

6. Care for people who whistle in dressing rooms or checks that bounce as high a the stratosphere.

7. Play mother parts, sad parts, dumb parts, or a virtuous wife, betrayed or otherwise. I pity weak women, good or bad, but I can't like them. A woman should be strong either in her goodness or badness.

8. Go nuts about classical music, sandwiches, cigar smoke, places that smell like hospitals, and black nail polish.

9. Get excited over night clubs, contract bridge, fan dancing, bobby sox, the stock market, badminton, or bust developers.

10. Be thrilled to death by orchids, anonymous love letters, souvenir postcard folders, earthquakes, slave bracelets, or beds with hard mattresses.

11. Be bothered by Scotch money-lenders or boys who lisp.

12. Believe the worst about anybody without complete proof nor will I believe that it's useless to struggle against so-called Fate-the phony!

13. Walk when I can sit, or sit when i can recline. I believe in saving my energy - for important things.

14. Write a story that is unsophisticated, because I believe that innocence is as innocent doesn't.

15. Marry a man who is too handsome, a man who drinks to excess or doesn't carry his liquor like a gentleman,, a man who is easy to get, easily led into temptation-unless I do the leading.

As printed in Mae West "it ain't no sin" by Simon Louvish

Crack...Pie?

http://jezebel.com/5426922/anderson-cooper-is-addicted-to-crack-pie

Why Anderson my love, I too enjoy the crack-like deliciousness of pie as I watch a Battlestar Galactica marathon...

If I find out Anderson spends his weekends wrapping his hair, painting his toenails, and eating handfuls of Ferrero Rocher while watching Buffy reruns...we're officially the same person. ;p

Apparently the recipe came from a chi-chi restaurant in New York. Martha Stewart loved the pie so much she invited the owner/manager on her show and bullied him out of the recipe. I love you Martha.

Crack Pie

Makes two 10-inch pies
• FOR THE OAT COOKIE
• 1/2 cup (1 stick) unsalted butter, softened
• 1/2 cup light-brown sugar
• 3 tablespoons granulated sugar
• 1 large egg
• 1/3 cup all-purpose flour
• 1/3 cup old-fashioned oats
• 1/8 teaspoon baking powder
• 1/8 teaspoon baking soda
• 1/4 teaspoon salt
• FOR THE CRUST
• 1/4 cup (1/2 stick) unsalted butter, softened
• 1 tablespoon light-brown sugar
• 1/8 teaspoon salt
• FOR THE FILLING
• 3/4 cup granulated sugar
• 3/4 cup light-brown sugar
• 1/4 teaspoon salt
• 2 tablespoons milk powder
• 1 cup (2 sticks) unsalted butter, melted
• 3/4 cup heavy cream
• 1/8 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
• 8 large egg yolks
• Confectioners' sugar, for dusting

Directions
1. Make the oat cookie: Preheat oven to 350 degrees; line a baking sheet with parchment paper and set aside.
2. In a large bowl, mix together all oat cookie ingredients until well combined. Spread cookie mixture in an even layer on prepared baking sheet. Transfer to oven and bake until golden brown, about 15 minutes. Remove from oven and let cool slightly on a wire rack.
3. Make the crust: Using your hands, crumble oat cookie into a large bowl. Add butter, brown sugar, and salt; using your hands, toss until crumbly and well combined.
4. Divide mixture evenly between two 10-inch pie plates; pat into bottom and up sides. Set aside.
5. Make the filling: Reduce oven temperature to 325 degrees. In a large bowl, whisk together sugars, salt, and milk powder, breaking up any lumps. Whisk in butter, heavy cream, and vanilla until well combined. Whisk in yolks until just combined.
6. Pour filling into prepared pie crusts. Transfer pies to oven and bake until filling is set, about 15 minutes. Reduce oven temperature to 315 degrees and continue baking until top of pie is golden brown. Remove from oven and let cool slightly. Transfer to refrigerator and refrigerate until cool. Dust with confectioners' sugar just before serving.

So the taste was crack-a-licious, but the recpie was awful. It didn't...hold together properly. I suspect the Manager/owner of that chi-chi resteraunt left out some key ingredeints.

Baa Humbug

I was waiting in line at the Daily Bagel waiting to make daily $8 purchase of a cup of oatmeal and a fruit cup, and out of the corner of my eye I spy a 'lets give a gift to the foster kid' tree. ' Now it’s officially Christmas. It's like seeing my first robin in spring. It really brings a tear to my eye…and bile to my throat. Now that I'm living the post group-home dream (security, a healthy long term romantic relationship, modest but steady income, solid relationships with friends and select family members) I try to pay it forward.
So I open one of the gift-cards attached to the branches of the tree.

'Boy 11 yrs 3 Playstation games.'
Must be a mistake right?

I select another

'Girl 16 yrs $100 gift certificate Abromrombie and Fitch.
Not TJ Maxx or some outlet store but Abrocrombie and frickin’ Fitch.

Those lucky bastards!
In my day-- that's right whippersnappers, in MY day-- because DCF in the 90's apparently was a whole different ballgame-- we had a $30 limit on 3 presents which we chose out of some no-name catalog, and the filler gifts were usually clothes and trinkets from Walgreens/Wal-Mart. Not exactly Playstation, but quality items that made for a good holiday. Then there was dreaded ‘church present' from which every Christmas and birthday we consistently got a super small sweatshirt in some god awful pastel color. One year I received a magenta sweatshirt had a picture of a smiling cat playing with a ball of string. I was 16.
Now I know Dear Reader (Dave) I should be grateful and humble blah blah blah, but frankly if you want to be looked upon favorably by the unwashed masses, take a hint from the Daily Bagel gift tree; donate something you'd want for yourself. Clothing you'd want to wear and food you'd want to eat. You don't get to shower yourself with self adulation by showering the 'needy' with kitten sweatshirts or chipped beef**


** When I left placements at 18 they gave me a hamper filled with food and household items as a good bye gift. It was a really great gift actually. It was filled with things you need for your first apt but never think to buy. Among the goods was a jar of chipped beef. Nobody eats chipped beef unless your 87 and live in the English countryside. It's like donating cranberry sauce in April. I tried to give it away...no takers. I'm not a fan of throwing perfectly good food in the trash, and I'm not a big enough jerk to re-donate it. It sat in my cabinet for 5 years until I started to get my life together(ish) I ceremoniously opened it and ate a few bites once I graduated college. So if anyone asks you what pride tastes like? Chipped beef...kinda salty.

Gobble Gobble

Happy Thanksgiving

Pros

Went to Dave's 10 year class reunion. What. A. Blast. It was straight out of a movie. Small high school (90 students in the graduating class) in a Small Midwesternish town. Dave's friends were absolutely wonderful (not that i would expect anything less from Dave) but I'm so happy I got to meet them. Most of the attendees seemed decent, although there was that core of popular kids who held on to their late 90's shittiness, and brought it to the reunion by way of passive aggressive comments, whispers, and eyerolls.

The reunion took an awkward turn after it relocated to a local bar afterwards where the football star who made Dave's life hell during high school drunkenly admitted he is miserable and on antidepressants after marrying his high school sweetheart, the equally rude and bitchy lead cheerleader after knocking her up right out of high school. I couldn't make that shit up--well i could, but I'd like to think I'd be a bit more creative.

On a less uncomfortable yet schadenlicious note Dave's lovely friend Erin and I spied a karaoke machine and sang Wake Me up before you Go-Go by Wham, and had the bar jitterbugging.

Dave's Uncle John--my favorite of Dave's 398 members of his extended family. The sweetest, gentlest, kindest man I've met in a long time.

Bottle Fed a calf

Peace and quiet. Can't get enough of it.

Cons

3AM somewhere in MD Dave nailed a deer and totaled his new car. My back's a bit tight, but otherwise we're OK. And thanks to AAA, full coverage car insurance, OK Towing, vacancy's at the holiday inn, and Dave's father generously picking us up from the hotel and lending us his car to get home, we made it there and back OK.

Jello Salad. Colorful, kitschy, and creamy...yet it tastes awful.

Pennsylvania. I hate that state.

Unbelievably long car ride