Thursday, October 22, 2009

Lolita and bizarre hotel signs

I'm in the middle of Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov in which Humbert a middle aged man and his sexual affair with his stepdaughter Lolita. I'm about 2/3rds in and it's pretty good. Surprisingly funny considering the plot. Among Humbert's (who BTW is the weakest most pathetic character ever put to paper) courting methods are to drug Lolita's mother to give him some one on one time with her 12 year old daughter, drug Lolita so he can molest her as she sleeps, bribes her for sexual favors, and he toys with the idea of marrying her and dumping her when she becomes too old (what's too old for a pedophile 16? 18ish?) but not before he impregnates her with a daughter with whom he will begin a sexual relationship with at the ripe age of 8 or 9. Charming.
I get the whole but he llloovveess her (which is crap) and Lolita being a sexually aware, calculating, evil little asshole. But you know what? Sometimes at the end of the day you've got to call a spade a spade. And Humbert is a giant mother fucking spade.

Anyway i bring this up because in the section of the book where Humbert traveling across the country to various low-end hotels to rape his stepdaughter--excuse me i mean 'make love to his darling nymphet Lo' *Gak* I came across this;

"...Some motels had instructions pasted above the toilet (on whose tank the towels were unhygienically heaped) asking guests not to throw into it's bowl garbage, beer cans, cartons, stillborn babies..."

STILLBORN BABIES?! what the crap! Who does that? And do they do it enough where it warrants a sign? My friend did some housekeeping for a short period of time, and she had horror stories about the conditions the rooms are left in but not once did she mention a fetus floating in the toilet.
What's the accepted method of disposal? Bury it out back? Call management? Wrap it in tissue and throw it in a wastepaper basket as you would other unsanitary unmentionables?
I figure since the book's set in the 40's people probably used cheap hotels to preform abortions, and 'stillborn baby' sounds alot better then 'aborted fetuses'. As much as I'm not a fan of abortion, I can't help but find this really really funny. So much so that I have made a sign to hang in my bathroom, should any of my house guests have designs to leave any surprises floating in my toilet.

Not bad...could be neater.

My other favorite quote?...Humbert describes the two adolescent boys Lolita has hangs out with as; "two gangling golden-haired highschool uglies, all muscles and gonorrhea" Heh. Humbert may be an odd little pervert but he's a funny odd little pervert.

1 comment:

  1. it is too bad you put up that sign now we can not throw OUR stillborns into the toliet. no wonder it clogged up last week.